#FinishLine (GearShark #5) Read online

Maybe I should have bypassed this convo and gone straight at Arrow with a ring.

  Did guys propose to other guys with rings?

  Oh my God, I didn’t even know how to propose.

  This was a complete disaster.

  Lorhaven snapped his fingers at me.

  I blinked and looked up. “I love him,” I replied simply.

  “Yeah.” Lor agreed. “I can see that.”

  “It’s not just that, though.” My three-word response was enough, but still I forged on. “I want to give him that security. I want to give him somewhere he absolutely belongs, you know? I want him to have my name. I want to be legally bound to him so if…” I cleared my throat. “If anything ever happens to me, everything I have will go to him without fight.”

  “And everything he has would go to you…” He surmised.

  I jolted and rushed forward to crowd his space. “Don’t fucking talk like that,” I growled. “He ain’t going nowhere.”

  God, the fear I had about him dying on me was too real. It was my greatest weakness.

  I jabbed my finger into the center of Lorhaven’s chest. “I don’t want anything of his, not his money or his cars. I’ll fucking sign a contract that says so. It won’t matter anyway, because if he dies, I’ll follow.”

  Lorhaven’s eyes flared. He knew exactly what I meant. He knew I was dead serious (literally). I knew what it was to live after someone you loved died. I barely survived it with Matt.

  I knew without a shadow of a doubt I wouldn’t survive a second time around. Not without Arrow.

  “You love my brother more than him?” Lorhaven whispered, as if even he knew what sacrilege he spoke.

  I sucked in a breath and removed the finger still drilling into his chest. Funny how he acted like he didn’t even notice the way I pushed him.

  “How dare you ask me that?” The words ripped out like a caged animal.

  “It ain’t nothing you haven’t asked yourself.”

  Touché.

  I stepped back, my shoulders slumping. “It’s a different kind of love,” I allowed. I couldn’t say it outright. I wouldn’t.

  “How so?”

  “Deeper. More…” My voice trailed away.

  He held up a hand. “I get it. I shouldn’t have asked. It was an asshole thing to do.”

  “I won’t disagree.”

  He barked a laugh. “My little brother, married,” he mused.

  “So does that mean you’re going to support us?”

  The door to the apartment sprang open, and Arrow’s voice cut through our conversation. “Hopp!”

  “Here,” I called out from the kitchen.

  He appeared on the other side of the island, his keys dangling from his fingers. His eyes went from me to Lorhaven and widened. “Jace? What are you doing here?”

  I glanced at him, hoping he knew this was a private conversation.

  “Came by to see if you wanted to have lunch,” Lorhaven answered without missing a beat.

  Arrow looked at me, and I smiled. I hadn’t seen him since this morning. I missed his face. “You have time?”

  “Anything for you, babe.” I tossed a wink at him.

  I knew by the look in his chocolate eyes he wanted to kiss me. I wanted to kiss him just as much. We actually already had plans for lunch that didn’t include food, but now that Lorhaven was here, those plans were going to have to wait until tonight.

  Why couldn’t he have just said yes and gotten out of the apartment? He was a damn cock-blocker.

  “What about Joey?” Arrow asked.

  “I’ll call her in the car.”

  “I’m starving.”

  “What else is new?” Lorhaven and I quipped at the same time. We glanced at each other awkwardly, and Arrow laughed.

  “I’m gonna grab a new shirt. I got oil all over this one in the garage. Then we can go.”

  “I’ll go call Josie. I’ll see you downstairs,” Lorhaven called after him as he walked back to the bedroom.

  I couldn’t help but sneak a peek at his ass.

  Lorhaven pulled out his phone and glanced at me.

  “Thanks for not saying anything to him,” I said, low.

  Lorhaven lowered the phone, his eyes locked on mine. “You got my blessing.”

  I didn’t think it would feel so good. I thought I was asking for this on behalf of Arrow and out of respect for his relationship with his brother. I didn’t realize this was something I needed.

  “Thank you,” I said, meaning it.

  He slapped me on the shoulder as he moved past. “You were already part of the family, Hopper, but I guess this will make it official.”

  “Hey,” I whispered and glanced toward the bedroom.

  Lorhaven swung around and arched a brow.

  I stepped closer. “Am I supposed to give him a ring?”

  Lorhaven sputtered. Then his face cracked into a wide grin. “I have no fucking clue.”

  “Lotta help you are,” I muttered.

  He laughed some more. “I’ll meet you guys downstairs.”

  The door shut behind him, and the sounds of Arrow moving around in the other room beckoned. I took a step toward him, then stopped.

  Holy shit, I was gonna do this.

  I was gonna ask Arrow to marry me.

  I didn’t tell him.

  I didn’t tell him how slightly obsessed I was with the way he caressed my lower back, how his fingertips whispered lightly over the dip above my spine. I thought of that moment more than once during the day. Some days I craved it. Some nights I rushed around getting ready for bed just to get to get there faster.

  He never failed me. He always did it. My stomach always caved in when he did.

  Still, I said nothing. I liked that he caressed me like that, not knowing how much it meant to me. If I told him, it would be like he did it because he knew how much I reveled in it. It was sweeter knowing he touched me this way, not because I wanted him to, but because he wanted to.

  Would I ever get used to someone having full access to my body and heart? Probably not. Especially when it was so unexpected.

  My stomach growled loudly as I rummaged for a clean shirt, the scent of soap wafting around me from my just-washed hands. It was only noon, but damn, the hours had dragged by this morning. It was probably because Hopp and I made plans to meet in the apartment for lunch. And not to eat.

  As much as I loved my brother, I was a little bummed he picked today of all days to show up. But he did, and I wasn’t about to tell him to get out. Family didn’t do that. And I was partly shocked to see him and Hopp getting along. Alone.

  What the hell was up with that?

  “I’m coming in.” Hopper warned as he approached me from behind. I glanced over my shoulder in time to see him swoop his arms around my bare waist and pull me against his chest.

  When my back was turned, he always announced himself before he touched me. I never asked him to do that. He just did.

  He just knew.

  I think maybe I’d be okay with him just grabbing me. I mean, it was Hopp after all. But I never told him that. I think I was a little worried about it deep down, worried it might bring back some kind of flashback from that night over three years ago. The last thing I wanted was to flinch away if he wrapped his arms around me. I’d beat myself up for that forever.

  “So much for our nooner,” he whispered against my ear.

  I leaned against him and sighed. His palm flattened over my stomach and rubbed lightly, making me groan and my hips jut out.

  Warm, thick lips latched on the side of my neck, and I leaned my head to the side, giving him better access. With a low moan, he kissed a little deeper, stroking his tongue across my skin and making me quake.

  The arms around my waist tightened, and I pushed my ass against his center. His body tightened, but he didn’t thrust against my ass, something else he was careful not to do.

  Reaching behind me, my hand curled around the back of his head and delved into his dark curls. He n
ipped at my skin, and I spun, matching our bodies up so we were pressed together.

  At the same moment, we rocked our hips into each other, and my forehead dropped onto his shoulder. Fingertips grazed over my lower back, in that magic spot, and I sighed, sinking just a little more into his chest.

  Filling my hands with his ass, I gave it a squeeze, pulling back and diving into his mouth. It was a slow kiss, considering how ravenous he made me. My thoughts turned fuzzy as our lips met again and again. Instead of delving deep with our tongues, they only grazed briefly as we made out, whispering caresses time and again.

  Kissing him like this made my limbs heavy. Made my skin buzz with life and the outside world completely vanish except for his taste and feel.

  With a deep moan, he pulled back. I licked my lips, and his eyes flared. “You don’t make this easy,” he grieved, rubbing his palm up my side.

  I grazed my fingertips over his stubbled jaw and smiled. “I love you, Hopp.”

  “Not as much as I love you,” he whispered.

  I shook my head. “Not true.”

  “C’mon,” he said, taking my hand. “Maybe if we eat fast, we’ll have some time before we gotta be back down at the track.”

  I laughed, snagged a dark blue T-shirt out of the open drawer, and let him lead me toward the front door.

  Before opening it, Hopper released my hand. “Put the shirt on, babe.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, ‘cause there’s gonna be a ton of people in the hallway just waiting for a glimpse.”

  He grunted but didn’t budge. With a chuckle, I pulled on the shirt, but before I could yank it down over my chest, I felt his hand bunch the fabric.

  Lifting my eyes, I watched him lower his head, pressing a kiss to the infinity tattoo on my chest. Too soon, the shirt was falling into place and we were heading toward the elevator, hand in hand.

  “You and my brother getting along?” I asked.

  He glanced at me swiftly. “Yeah, why?”

  “Just making sure I don’t need to kick his ass,” I cracked, even though suddenly it seemed like maybe I did walk in on something.

  Hopp rolled his eyes.

  “Seriously, though, did I interrupt something when I came home?”

  Hopper lifted our linked hands and kissed the back of mine. “No, babe. Everything is fine.”

  The elevator swung open, revealing Lor, who was standing there with his phone pressed to his ear. His body was rigid, and he was so focused on whoever he was talking to he didn’t even hear us get off the elevator. “This is really fucking shitty timing,” he intoned.

  “Jace?” I worried, stepping toward him. “What’s wrong?”

  He jerked and spun. The phone slipped a little from his ear. He didn’t look at me though.

  He looked at Hopper.

  My stomach clenched. “What!” I demanded.

  “Be there in a few,” he said, disconnecting the call. “Change of plans,” he announced. “We’re going to Gamble’s.”

  “Why?” Hopper demanded, the hand in mine going rigid.

  “I’ll explain when we get there.”

  I made a harsh sound. “Or you could explain right now.”

  “I don’t have all the details.” He hedged.

  “Just say it,” Hopper snapped.

  Lorhaven’s eyes bounced between us, even glancing down for an instant at our clasped hands. A sour looked filled his eyes, twisting his lips.

  “The press knows who Hopper is. The story just broke.”

  Oh fuck. His hand went limp in mine for a few seconds before stiffening again. My entire being went on high alert. Without letting go of him, I jumped forward, automatically placing my body in front of his.

  “How the fuck did they find out?” I demanded.

  “I don’t know,” he growled. “But we should go. Standing here where the press can find us isn’t a good idea.”

  I didn’t think about it. I just shifted, pulling my hand free to wrap my arm around his waist. “Let’s go.”

  Lorhaven started toward the front entrance, and I made a sound. “I’ll drive.”

  He didn’t argue. The three of us moved to the side door that led out to the parking garage for staff and residents. I glanced at Hopper, trying to gauge the way he was feeling.

  He sensed my gaze, returned it, and offered a smile. “I’m fine, babe.”

  But he wasn’t, and I knew it.

  At the Camaro, I opened the passenger door, and without a word, Jace dove into the back. Before Hopper could slip in, I fisted his shirt and tugged him back. He turned around, our stares colliding. He was waffling, caught between the present and the past.

  “Hey,” I said so low only he could hear. “Stay here with me.”

  He nodded, and I knew that was going to have to be good enough, at least for now. There was a sense of urgency surrounding us, breathing heavily on the back of my neck. The second Hopp was inside, my eyes scanned the garage, sweeping the space for anything out of the ordinary as I made my way around the hood to the driver’s side.

  The Camaro roared to life; the sound of the powerful engine gave me a burst of adrenaline and strength. I threw it into reverse and backed out of the spot.

  Before driving forward, though, I hit the brakes.

  The car jolted, throwing us all forward a little.

  “What the fuck?” Jace spat, catching himself on the back of the seats.

  My arm stretched across the back of Hopper’s seat. I turned and glanced into the back. “You aren’t surprised.”

  “What?” he wondered.

  “Why aren’t you surprised Hopp has a different identity?”

  “I knew,” Lorhaven replied simply.

  I arched a brow. “You hired a PI to investigate my boyfriend?”

  “Like you didn’t know I would.” He was unapologetic.

  “No, Jace,” I bitched. “I thought you might actually let me make my own decision.”

  “I did,” he growled. “I didn’t tell you what I found out.”

  “I already know,” I growled back.

  “Can we table this argument?” Hopper injected. “The vultures are circling.”

  I glanced over at him, but he was staring out the windshield at something else.

  My stare followed his. “Fucking hairy goat balls full of piss,” I cursed.

  “What the fuck did you just say?” Lorhaven questioned from the backseat.

  I ignored him and hit the gas. The tires squealed under the pressure, and my car shot forward with a roar. The large white news van heading straight toward us hit the brakes, trying to create a road block.

  As if that were enough to get in my way.

  I went on autopilot, my racing experience and training taking over. My car swerved around the van, then around a giant cement poll, narrowly avoiding a car parked in an embarrassingly shitty way, and straightened back out as we neared the exit.

  A quick glance in the rearview, and I saw the van doing a three-point turn, which would likely be more of a ten-point when the moron driving got his head out of his ass.

  I floored it and shot out of the garage like a bullet from a cannon. There were a few photographers on foot at the entrance. The second my car burst into sight, a frenzy to snap some pictures began.

  I floored it. The car shot forward and left all those fuckers in my dust.

  “Assholes,” I spat.

  “They work fast,” Lorhaven muttered, disgusted.

  “It’s just the beginning.” Hopper sighed, exhausted.

  Reaching across the seat, I folded my hand around his.

  We always knew this was a strong possibility. The more interested the media became in me, the more they would look at him.

  It was only a matter of time before everyone found out Hopper was really ex-Motocross sensation Jayson Hamilton. It was going to stir up a lot of shit for him. Shit I wished he didn’t have to deal with at all.

  Wishes were for stars, though, not flesh-and-blood men. I supposed now the t
ime had come.

  It doesn’t matter how far or how long you run. The past always has a way of catching up. And usually at the most inopportune times.

  The past is an asshole.

  Happiness seems simple, doesn’t it? Isn’t being happy the goal for just about everyone on the planet? Happiness is portrayed as easy to attain, but in reality, it’s hard to grasp. It’s more of a façade, something people pretend to be because it’s more socially acceptable. Sort of like being straight.

  For me, being happy had become a myth. If I hadn’t felt it at some point in my life, I might have labeled it an urban legend.

  The past several months, I discovered happiness again. Not just happiness, though, something that went deeper.

  Satisfaction, maybe. Contentment.

  Love.

  No. A bone-deep rightness that gave me newfound confidence. The kind of absolute truth I felt settle inside me, in my gut, as if it had grown there. Arrow was right. My life with him was where I was supposed to be. I loved him. I loved our life together.

  I didn’t want to look back, only forward. I only wanted to worry about if I should get him a ring, how I was going to ask him to marry me, and how soon I could get his sexy ass to the altar.

  I didn’t want this.

  The press. The questions. The memories.

  I didn’t want to be dogged by the public and pursued by nosey-ass people who had no rights to the inside of my mind or the inner workings of my heart.

  Unfortunately, I had to deal with this. I’d run too long. If my true identity had broken before Arrow, I might have run again. Packed up and walked. I couldn’t do that now. He rooted me in place, and it didn’t matter how forceful the wind blew, I wasn’t going to move.

  The only way to get to forever was to work through the present.

  “Josie, we’re here. Open the gate.” Lorhaven’s voice cut through my internal pep talk. I blinked and glanced into the backseat to see him disconnecting the call and tucking the phone in his jacket.

  The Camaro slowed and was instantly swarmed by press. Arrow snarled and gunned the engine, which caused several reporters to leap back. A few of the more zealous ones didn’t budge, though; they just kept aiming their cameras.

  The gates opened slowly, and I watched, waiting for a few press to try and slip through. They didn’t, though, likely because Gamble had security standing behind it who didn’t look too friendly.